Wednesday 25 May 2022

PEOPLE – Putting green tea in coffee

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People are usually either coffee people or tea people. Agent Cooper loves his coffee, while Kevin Rose is obsessed with tea. America drowns itself in coffee, while England sits down for a cup of tea.

What is stopping anyone from being both a coffee person and a tea person? Come to think of it, what is stopping anyone from drinking coffee and tea at the same time? Let’s find out:

We’ll do this Tassimo-style. PC’s new dark roast is one of my favourite coffees for the wasteful little machine, and I was given some green tea by Twinings, which by its very name implies it is supposed to be twinned with something else.

I got a big cup and brewed (er, “brewed”) one after the other. Unfortunately, the machine seemed to sense a disturbance, realizing that a black magic violation of the natural coffee / tea separation was about to happen, threatening to tear a hole in the fabric of spacetime and usher in a world where cats play with dogs, fire is made of water, and Canada wins plenty of gold medals at the Olympics.

It voiced its disapproval with the dreaded four blinky lights.

Luckily, the damage was already done. The unholy union of coffee and green tea sat in my cup, looking like…well, coffee.

The taste is not entirely terrible. It’s like green tea that’s too bitter, or dark coffee that’s too watered down. I was happy to drink the whole thing, but I don’t feel compelled to do it again. Still, I’m happy that I’ve managed to bridge the gap between coffee and tea. If only all of us could put aside our preconceived notions and jam disparate things together, the world would be a better place. That’s what this blog is all about, really. You’re welcome.


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